Today's QUOTE/IDEA ...
Why MOST medication and therapy don't "fix" your problem. People use medication and therapy for any number of reasons: anxiety, depression, pain, PTSD, and addiction just to name a few. Most are using the medication or therapy as they don't like the "behavior" or "effect" they are experiencing and therefore they are trying to "avoid" experiencing it. Here's the rub and the explanation to why medication doesn't "fix" anything and why most therapy never "ends" ... medication only mitigates the symptoms and most therapy only provides coping skills, which only mitigates the symptoms (just like a pill), but neither actually changes the core beliefs that are at the root of those symptoms. Much like the medical model, these two approaches are just "symptom management." Let me expand. The medical model "helps" by providing a pill that helps to lessen or temporarily eliminate the severity of the "experience" the person is wanting to avoid, ie. depression, anxiety, pain, and so on. The basic therapeutic model "helps" by providing coping skills that help to lessen or temporarily eliminate the severity of the "experience" the person is wanting to avoid, ie. depression, anxiety, PTSD, addictions, and so on. NEITHER of these addresses the root of WHY the person is currently experiencing their depression, anxiety, pain, PTSD, addiction, etc. (If you want to put out a fire, you spray the BASE of the fire, not JUST the flames!). Coping skills and medication can be a VERY important PART of "keeping one's head above water" but regardless of how much medication one takes or how many days a week someone goes to therapy to learn and reinforce their coping skills, if they do not work on reframing the belief that is driving these emotions and/or behaviors, they are still eventually going to "drown." Look at it simply as, medication and coping skills can help you to keep treading water. BUT, if you don't learn to "swim towards shore" sooner or later you are going to get sleepy or physically tired and still "drown." The ultimate goal of my therapy, called Belief Systems Therapy, is to teach all the basic life skills, coping skills, and real-life routines (eating well, moving well, sleeping well, and relaxing well) that will help "keep you afloat today" while ALSO digging into WHY you currently feel the way you do about you or life or the combination thereof. Let me ask, do you need to apply all your skills to tread water once you are standing on the shore? Nope. Are they still good to have if you end up back in the water? Yep. But once you change your core belief, say from "Santa is real to Santa is not real" you don't have to keep "working" on the old belief as it is NO LONGER a belief! Just like, once you are standing on the shore, you no longer have to keep treading water to keep your head above water. This is the root idea behind the catchphrase, change your thinking and change your life. More accurately it should say, change your beliefs and change your life, but the concept is still the same. When your beliefs change, so do ALL the feelings that were tied to that belief. And when feelings change, so do all the behaviors that were tied to those feelings. AND, as these are now tied to a new belief, you don't have to "work" at being this "new" way ... it has simply become, who you are now. This is also "how you became, who you are now!" ALL of your experiences in life have "programmed" you to "believe" x, y, and z is "true" about you and the world around you, and as a result, you think, feel, and act in certain patterns of behavior. If you want to change, you MUST change the "core belief" or beliefs that are driving those thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. But just like once you have LEARNED how to speak Chinese, you no longer have to "try to learn how to speak Chinese," once you have learned how to change a belief, you will no longer have to "try" to change the associated feelings or behavior. The new belief will simply become part of your daily unconscious and subconscious routines and patterns, just like the million others that you currently have. Why is this simple idea so difficult for most people? First, one needs to understand that a person's beliefs by default are "truths" to the individual that believes them. For example, Santa Clause IS real to a child who believes him to be real, the world IS flat to the person who believes it to be flat, the person IS worthless to the one who believes themselves to be worthless, life IS hopeless to the person who believes it is hopeless. It is VERY important to note if you didn't pick it up in the examples, that our BELIEFS do NOT have to be based in FACT or even to be TRUE! Second, one needs to understand that one of the main jobs of the "ego" is simply to be right. It can be said that the "poor man's" self-worth is being right. Whatever your belief is, the ego will scan ALL horizons to find examples in life, that back up that belief. The issue is, those examples are what we call "bias" and "cognitive distortions" and are oftentimes not a real "truth" but merely a perception or personal experience. (In addition, another major part of the ego is to protect you from pain, and being "wrong" can be painful in many aspects of life). Third, as the old saying goes, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. Many people, especially those who are actually smart and educated, will totally dismiss beneficial information provided to them by outside sources, especially if that information is contrary to their current beliefs. The reality is, what happens to "you" if your beliefs are not the "truth" but simply an illusion of reality? What happens to "who you believe yourself to be" if you just accepted a different belief? What would that say about your life in relation to your ego always working to solidify your current beliefs? (This, in part, is why Christian and non-Christian, democrat and republican, pro-choice and pro-life, socialist and republic, and so on can ALL think that they are the "ONLY CORRECT" view in a debate). How do you start to change your beliefs? First, there is NO ONE WAY or "right" way. Second, simply start to embrace the idea of "imagine what we could learn if we didn't already know everything." Third, try the true scientific method on some of your core beliefs. This means, you have an idea about something, now try and prove it wrong! IF your belief stands up to the scientific test, it MIGHT be a truth. Fourth, start asking "why" you believe what you believe? Was it taught to you? Have you experienced that "thing" in EVERY situation and in the EXACT SAME way? Did you read about it? Many beliefs have four sides and look very solid from the front but are as thin as a playing card when you turn them sideways. Fifth, ask yourself, especially in relation to a belief that you are trying to avoid the effects of, why do you feel you still need to think the way you do? What is it doing for you? Many, as I have come to find, hold on to their limiting beliefs because part of their own identity has become intertwined with their limitation. This is especially true of depression, anxiety, PTSD, chronic pain, and those with addiction. Ultimately you and life are EXACTLY what you say they are! No, your perception or judgment does not change the reality of the world around you BUT it DOES change how you think and feel about the reality around you! And as a monk once replied to the question of "how do you stay so calm and happy in your life" ... "I simply don't mind what happens." You "feel" because you "judge." Why are you judging from a state of lack when you could be judging from a state of power? Illegitimi non Carborundum!
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Who am I?I'm Dr. Reverend Guru Davis. Archives
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